funny response to are you still alivefunny response to are you still alive

funny response to are you still alive funny response to are you still alive

The only thing offending me right now is your face. funny response to are you still alive. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. I'm afraid I can't do that. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. Just look what happened there! There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. 4. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. Heart-shattering. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. The government? Spiritually? Im sorry. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. 90. 8. Youre worse. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. This is a good response to throw out there. 57. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. But half the time, it is a nightmare. 59. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Follow for more funny content!! Thats because Im still waiting for you. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Whats with all these questions? I dont feel that great, but look! 71. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. Then the worms eat you. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. No, keep talking. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. "Still alive" is polite. Is that a scar on your face? For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? I have been going through GOT in my work life. I'm happy! Here's another way to respond to your crush. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . No? I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. However, I dont recall anything about morons. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. I favour the "How am I what?" I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. 2. 45. It can be good to just say it how it is. 86. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. 3. 13. 10. Youre totally on the same page. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Who knows, they might just do it. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. 98. No, I'm Finnish. Shane from The L Word? His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. *sips wine/tea*. I was doing great, before you came. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. There is plenty of room. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! 28. This one is bound to get a laugh. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. This does not seem right. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. 2. 80. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. You have an old soul. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. For more information, please see our Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. You should really come with a warning label. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Socioeconomically? He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are 94. The music billboard charts got it wrong! Hello, how are you? Because you havent put a ring on it yet. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Canva. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! At minding my own business? 73. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Required fields are marked *. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. Ah, sarcasm. Share the best GIFs now >>> Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 1. (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me.

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